Perfect Anytime Roast Chicken

Two Sundays ago, I made this roast chicken for the first time. I couldn't believe how easy it was, or how well it turned out. Or how much it was exactly as comforting and full of fall flavors as I'd imagined, which is almost never the case with roast chicken which is often dry and lacking a little something. Nope. I overcooked this by a solid 20 minutes and it was still really, really good. And that juicy sauce you see up there? Pure heaven. I mean, it's beer+cider+chicken juice. What's not to like? You may find yourself sizing up possible dipping items, so plan well. Oh, and did I mention it cooks its own vegetables too?

Carrots and parnsips. Which taste like candy and yummier candy. Also, you can use your Dutch oven, not that stupid roasting pan which is stuck in a closet or on top of a cabinet or in some other highly inconvenient location. And it doesn't need a rack. It really is the perfect roast chicken, to be made anytime. Like tonight, if you're still trying to figure out your Rosh Hashanah menu (appley! sweet! double win!) Or on Sunday, when you have the time to roast a chicken. Or anytime! Now if only I can get it to wash its own dishes. Hmmm.

ROAST CHICKEN WITH BEER AND CIDER
from Lidia.

INGREDIENTS:
4 lb roasting chicken
2 tsp kosher salt
2 medium onions peeled and quartered
2 large carrots, peeled and sliced into uniform sized pieces. Or a handful of baby carrots. Whatever.
2 medium parsnips, done like the carrots. Oh shut up. You'll like them.
2 T fresh sage leaves
1 cinnamon stick
4 whole cloves
1.5 C chicken stock
1.5 C beer or ale (make it something you like, and yeah that's a whole bottle)
1 C apple cider

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat the oven to 400. Get out your Dutch oven. Get your onions, carrots and parsnips and toss in the bottom of the Dutch oven. Add the cinnamon stick and cloves and sage. You're making a nest for the chicken, so make sure they're distributed kind of evenly. Prep that chicken, trimming off the nasty bits, removing whatever lurks inside, salt and pepper the whole beast inside and out. Plop the chicken on top of the veggie bits, breast side down. Pour in all the lovely liquids - stock, beer and cider. Stick the whole thing on the stove and simmer 15 minutes uncovered on the top of the stove. Then, flip him over, so the breast side is up. Then you pop it in the oven and roast for 30 minutes, basting at 10 minute intervals. Roast another 30 minutes (if it's getting too brown, cover it with your Dutch oven lid) again basting every 10-15 minutes. Check the temperature at each basting. Poultry should get to 165 but will continue to cook a few minutes after you take it out. Roast another 10-20 minutes if needed - mine never has, but Lidia's did. Remember to watch the top for overbrowning too! When done, remove the chicken and veggies to a platter. Then put the Dutch oven o'juice back on the stove and cook on medium high (a nice boil if you please) until the sauce reduces quite a bit (half mayhaps, if you are patient). You can be carving the chicken whilst the sauce is doing its thing. Serve with sauce. Resolve to make it weekly at least. It's that good and that easy.

Make it gluten-free:  Beer is NOT gluten-free, so you'll need to substitute. I used half cider and half stock to make up the beer amount and it turned out great!

Bed & Breakfast

You know what a bed and breakfast is right? Quaint little inn, where the tasty morning offerings are supposed to make up for the lack of modern amenities enhance the historical charm? Now I want you to imagine just how good the muffins would have to be in order for you to forgive being trapped in your room. Honest to goodness, pulling on the doorknob with both hands, calling any phone number for the main desk you can find from your cell phone (no real phones in an inn mind you), eyeballing the drop from your window to the ground, pounding on your door and shouting for help until the elderly gentleman who was staying across the hall came and liberated you, trapped in your room. Those would have to be some seriously good muffins right?

In the interest of honesty, it took more than just the muffins to placate me. They had to plane down the damn door too, so that we could come and go as we pleased. Muffins alone will not make me okay with room confinement. I require action.

This is not the recipe for the actual pear and ginger muffins provided by the inn, but they are delicious, and will go along way towards soothing any disgruntled houseguests or erm, spouses, that you may need to bribe.

PEAR AND GINGER MUFFINS
adapted from Nigella Express inspired by a Rhode Island inn that shall remain nameless since I disparaged their door situation

INGREDIENTS:
1 3/4 C flour
3/4 C sugar
1/2 C packed light brown sugar
2 t baking powder
1t ground ginger
2/3 C sour cream
1/2 C vegetable oil
1 T honey
2 eggs
1 1/2 C peeled and chopped pears - about a 1/4 in" dice - I used 2 bartlett pears for this
2-3 T minced crystalized ginger


DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 400 F. Prepare a 12-cup muffin tin with muffin cups (paper or silicon will work).

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking powder and ground ginger. In a smaller bowl, mix together the sour cream, vegetable oil, honey and eggs. Use a fork or whisk to combine well. Then add the wet ingredients to the dry. Finally, add in the pears and ginger bits. Fold in with a spatula and then fill your muffin cups. They will be quite full. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove from the pan to a cooling rack. These will last a few days if stored in an air-tight container, but are best right away!

Please Stand By...We Are Currently Experiencing Technological Difficulties

Here's the thing people. Under normal circumstances I have access to three computers. A work computer, my own laptop and my husband's laptop. Allow me to break my current computer status down for you.

Work computer which cannot under any circumstances be used for anything other than work = dead battery.

My own laptop = dead power cord, leading to a dead battery.

My husband's laptop = at work with him. For all of the million bajillion hours he works.


Which means a) computers don't like me and b) I'm typing this right now on my mother's itty bitty netbook. So I suppose I could type up a recipe for you. Maybe I could. But it would be without a picture. And a picture is worth a thousand words, and I am not the type of person that has an extra thousand words lying around. I am the type of person whose computers all fail at the same type in some type of computer-based anti-blogging conspiracy. So I beg of you. Do not abandon me. I have AT LEAST 4 yummy recipes. Ready to go. With pictures. Just as soon as I can get the whole pictures part of that happening. And as soon as I actually, you know, type them up instead of just having them scribbled on notepaper in my kitchen and story ideas sloshing around in my brain. You could vote on which one you want first though! In my only tech-savvy move of the week - a poll!

poll by twiigs.com

Hold Yer Horses - It Ain't Fall Yet

Look, they might be selling, but I'm not buying. It does not matter how many ads for school supplies, football games or Halloween costumes I see on TV. It does not matter that the school children are all safely tucked into their classrooms. It doesn't even matter that I succumbed and turned the page in my calendar so that it reads SEPTEMBER. As long as the weather is still in the eighties, it's just not fall. There are no stews or soups simmering away in my kitchen. I have no plans to begin my annual pumpkin bake off in which I try to bake and consume as many pumpkiny treats as I can. I just can't do it. I'm still struggling with my decision to turn off the air-conditioning.

Luckily, I still have some recipes left that aren't trying to hurry summer out the door. These lettuce cups are sort of seasonless, but are delicious and really sort of low effort if you're into that sort of thing.

SUPER TASTY LETTUCE WRAPS
from blogchef

INGREDIENTS:
1 lb ground turkey (or beef, whatever)
1 T vegetable oil
1 cup chopped onion (about a medium onion)
2 minced garlic cloves
1 T soy
1/4 C hoisin
1 t rice wine vinegar
2 T sesame oil
1 t sambal
1 C cashews
head of lettuce (hey, I only had romaine, so I made do, although Boston would be nice)

gluten-free note: make sure to find gluten free soy sauce and hoisin (Premier Japan makes a gluten-free hoisin). Rice vinegar is gluten free and sesame oil should, although check the label of sesame oil for additives. Sambal is gluten-free as far as I'm aware.

DIRECTIONS:
Put the oil in the pan and heat the pan to medium. Toss in your onions and garlic and cook for 1-2 minutes. Then add your ground meat. Break up the meat as it browns (5-10 minutes). Then add soy, hoisin, vinegar, sambal, sesame oil. Toss gently so the sauce is throughout the meat. Cook for 1-2 more minutes, then add the cashews. Scoop the warm mixture onto your lettuce leaves. You can fold these up to eat them.

Cheddar Biscuits

When I grow up, I want to be Ina Garten. I want a gorgeous house, a loving husband, amazing gardens, friends visiting all the time. I want to be both a talented chef and smart enough to work in the White House on nuclear energy policy (no really, she did). The problem is, I'm kind of already grown up and my chances aren't looking too good. Right now, just about the only list item I've accomplished is a loving husband (which is pretty important as far as list items go, but not really much headway on the whole list). Oh well. At least I can make her food, this time, cheddar biscuits that are just delicious.

INA'S CHEDDAR BISCUITS
from Ina Garten - Barefoot Contessa Back to Basics

INGREDIENTS:
2 C flour - plus more for rolling out - I'd make sure you've got at least another 1/2 C to a C in the house because these are some sticky biscuits.
1 T baking powder
1 1/2 sticks (12 T) of salted butter. If you use unsalted, it says 1 1/2 t salt, but I think that's WAY too salty, so be careful.
1/2 C buttermilk shaken (I didn't have buttermilk, so I used 1/2 C milk + 1 1/2 t vinegar - let it stand for 10 minutes - magic buttermilk substitute)
1 egg
1 C grated cheddar cheese

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 425F.
Put the 2 C of flour and the baking powder (and salt if you insist) in your stand mixer. Quickly mix to combine. I usually chop the butter up a bit and then toss it in and blend until you have a nice sandy texture. In a small bowl (or heck a large glass measuring cup if you're lazy) combine the buttermilk and the egg and whisk it a bit with a fork to combine it well. Then pour that into the dry ingredients and mix to combine. Finally, toss the cheddar with a bit of flour, add that to the other ingredients and give it a final mix. Prepare a highly floured surface for your kneading and rolling. Pour the dough onto the surface and give it a quick knead (Ina says about 6 times, I say, get it to come together and not stick to everything under the sun). The roll out the dough. Ina says to cut it into biscuits using a knife (check out her recipe for details) but I used a glass (I don't own a biscuit cutter) to make round biscuits. I put them on a Silpat mat. I did combine and reroll the scraps to get more biscuits and got quite a few more than she did. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until they are browned and cooked!

Soup for Sick People

I'm a freak. I mean, you probably already knew that, but really, I am. Whenever I get sick, I get a rash. It's mainly on my neck and torso but depending on how sick I am it can spread to my arms, face, legs. It often completely stresses out doctors when they see it for the first time. They always think I have scarlet fever, or fifth disease or something else dire. But over the years I've grown used to it. Sometimes it shows up before I even feel sick, like a bad omen. When it happens like this, I lay in supplies and prepare to take off work. Sometimes it shows up in the middle, a little, Hey! Guess what? You know how crappy you feel? It's because you're SICK, IDIOT! And sometimes, it waits until I am mostly recovered and throws me a Gotcha! And you thought that was allergies FOOL! Which is exactly what happened last week. After tossing back allergy pills, sniffing prescription steroid nasal sprays and working my way through the better part of a tissue box, I found out that really, I'd just been sick after all. Oh well. At least the treatment was the same. A big bowl of homemade sausage and rice soup. And trust me this was easy to make. I made it when I was sick, after all.

SAUSAGE AND RICE SOUP
adapted from Mario Batali

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 C onion chopped
2-3 T duck fat (butter will do if you don't keep duck fat in your freezer!)
1/2 lb hot Italian sausage - casings removed (I used turkey sausage as usual - if you want gluten-free, check your sausage labeling to confirm)
2 quarts chicken stock (that's 8 C)
1-2 rinds of parmiggiano-reggiano (if you don't have these, just add a bit more parm at the end. I save my rinds in the freezer to use in soup, it adds a lot of depth of flavor with almost no effort on your part)
1 C rice
a few cups of spinach, washed and stems removed, rough chopped if it's not baby spinach.
2-3 carrots cut into coins
1/4 C grated parm (double this if you are rindless)

DIRECTIONS:

Let's talk about the rice before we even start. It is well documented that I can't cook rice. This extends to soup situations. Therefore, I put 1 C rice plus 2 C water in my rice cooker and made the rice that way. I then added it to the soup at the proper time. Mario advocates tossing the rice into boiling soup and giving it 15 minutes to cook. What you decide is your business.

Okay. In a large pot, over medium heat, add your duck fat (or butter) and your onion and sausage. Cook for about 5-10 minutes, breaking the sausage down with your spoon until it is browned and in nice little nibbly pieces. Add your stock (and your rinds if you have them) and bring it to a boil. If you have raw rice toss it in now and wait 15 minutes for it to cook. If you have cooked rice, toss it in now and keep going. Add the carrots and spinach and grated parm. Cook for about 5 more minutes (I have no idea what this would do to the raw rice?). Taste the soup. Mine required absolutely no seasoning, between the salty parm and the spicy sausage it was perfect just the way it was, but please add salt and pepper if needed.

By Popular Demand - Lemon Ricotta Cake

Dairy products and I have a love-hate relationship. Milk, for example, is the nectar of the devil. It tastes awful and it makes me sick to my stomach. I need it on occasion to bake, but that is it. Consequently, it is really hard for me to tell if milk has spoiled. I have to rely entirely on how it smells, because it always tastes off to me. Cheese on the other hand, I adore. Hard cheeses, soft cheeses, stinky blue, creamy brie, nutty gruyere. So deliciously happy-making. However, in between these lie a sort of dairy limbo that includes yogurt, cottage cheese, ricotta. On any given day I can enjoy one of these thoroughly, or take against it. The latter is particularly true when freshness is in question. No amount of rational thought can ease my worries. I simply can't. Just can't. Hate. And this exact thing happened when I went to use up the ricotta from the tomato crostini. It had only been open a few days. The expiration date swore it was fine. But that nagging little dairy fairy on my shoulder was saying "ew" really loudly. And I decided the only way to deal with it was to make sure the ricotta was baked. Because somehow, that would make it okay. (Which is ridiculous, because of course it was okay, I swear I'm not baking with nasty ricotta here). Lucky for me, using up dairy that irrationally scares me can result in a completely heavenly dessert. Like little clouds of lemony cakey goodness. And the pendulum swings back to love.

LEMON RICOTTA CAKE
inspired by Giada De Laurentiis

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 C flour (all-purpose will do)
2 1/2 t baking powder
3/4 C salted butter (this is 1 1/2 sticks) plus more for greasing the pan
1 1/2 C sugar
1 1/2 C ricotta cheese (I used part skim and it worked fine).
3 large eggs
1 t vanilla
2 T freshly squeezed lemon juice
zest from 1-2 lemons
powdered sugar for dusting
optional: 1/4 to 1/2 C lemon curd

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 350F. Grease and flour a 9" round cake pan.
In a stand mixer, cream together the butter and sugar (about 3 minutes). Add the ricotta and mix until incorporated. One at a time add the eggs, mixing between each. Then add your vanilla, lemon juice and zest. In a bowl,combine the flour and baking powder. Add your dry ingredients and give it a final mix. My batter was lumpy and also all the zest attached itself to the paddle. I fixed the zest problem by tossing it back into the batter and quickly mixing with a spatula before pouring it in to the cake pan. The lumps baked themselves away. Bake for 35-40 minutes. It is done when a knife inserted into the middle comes out clean.

Optional section: If you like, slice the cake in half so it has two layers (Doesn't that sound easy? It was my first attempt at something like that and those were not so even. Oh well.) Then spread lemon curd on the bottom layer. I used a quarter cup because I wanted it to be subtle, but it may have been almost too subtle so I might move up to a half cup next time. Or maybe I'll just be lazy and not do it at all. Either way.

Serve with powdered sugar on top (you do this by holding a fine mesh strainer over the cake, pouring in a bit of sugar and then tapping the side of the strainer gently so the powder comes down). If you are serving the whole cake at party powder it all at once, if you're eating the slices for dessert each night powder a slice at a time.

Cook a Book

I have a particular weakness for books that involve cooking. Not just cookbooks mind you, but any books that have lots of cooking in them. My latest read that sent me running to the kitchen was a teen book called Flavor of the Week. Not the best thing I've ever read, but I've held it out of the library for about two weeks after finishing it because it has recipes. Mouth watering recipes. Recipes like this one for kitchen sink cookies. Who can resist something that is not only delicious but allows you to clean out your cabinets! Do you have any favorite foodie books that we should read?


KITCHEN SINK COOKIES
from Flavor of the Week

INGREDIENTS:
1 3/4 C flour
1 t baking soda
2 sticks butter, softened (remember, I usually bake with salted butter, so if you use unsalted, throw in a pinch of salt).
1 1/4 C firmly packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2 t milk
3 t vanilla extract
2 C uncooked old fashioned rolled oats (I just bought quaker, regular not instant)
1 C chocolate chips (the recipe calls for semisweet, I only had bittersweet, still delicious)
1-2 C other stuff, like nuts, or coconut flakes, or whatever. I used 1 package of mini m&ms, about a cup of chopped pecans and a half cup of mini marshmallows.

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat the oven to 375 F. Combine flour, baking soda and salt (if you need salt). Mix well. In your stand mixer, combine the butter and brown sugar. Mix until creamy. Add the eggs and mix again. Add the nutmeg, milk and vanilla. Mix again. Add the flour mixture (guess what?), mix again. Remove your mixing bowl from the stand mixer, because you're finishing up by hand. Add the oats and mix by hand. The add your mix-ins. When everything is combined, drop rounded tablespoonfuls onto your lined cookie sheets (I used silpat, use parchment if you don't have silpat). Bake for 9-10 minutes. Cool for 1-2 minute on sheet before removing to a wire rack.

PS: David Lebovitz has his own version in case you're interested. He'll even let you use up bugles, or pretzels or chocolate covered marshmallow bears (I want one!).

Little Bites of Heaven

Now that I live country-adjacent (the directions to get to my apartment include the words: turn at the corn) and am no longer a city mouse, I have to say that my access to ridiculously amazing produce has increased. Just the other day I stopped by a farm stand and picked up a pair of beautiful heirloom tomatoes. Best thing ever? The stand had a tray of tasting bites each labeled with the tomato name. I picked out a Purple Cherokee and a Persimmon. Really, my restraint is admirable, because I did not just eat them in the car on the way home. While you can dress up tomatoes any which way, heirlooms deserve better. They should not be buried in a sandwich or blended into gazpacho. They should be the star. Ryan complained that I even did anything to these, but I think they were delicious with the trimmings, and so easy to make!

HEIRLOOM TOMATO AND RICOTTA BITES

INGREDIENTS:
1 (or more) heirloom tomatoes
ricotta cheese
baguette
salt
extra virgin olive oil

DIRECTIONS:
Slice your tomato into thinnish pieces, don't make them too thin, but don't do huge chunks either. Then cut the largest pieces in half. Count how many you have. Then slice a corresponding number of rounds from your baguette. Make these pretty thin, because you don't want the bread to overpower the tomato. Toast them lightly (I do mine in the toaster oven, but you'd be better off with a real oven than with a toaster-toaster). Smear a bit of ricotta (maybe a tablespoon) on each toast. Gently place a tomato slice on top. Continue until all bites are constructed. Arrange on a plate, sprinkle with salt, drizzle with olive oil, enjoy!

Salvage Mission

Sometimes, I hate technology. The other day I spent over two hours on the phone with Comcast, LG, SMC and Netflix trying to figure out why my movies would no longer stream. Everyone did an amazing job of coming up with an explanation why it was someone else's fault and why they could not possibly help me. All except SMC. They just never called back. When he got home, Ryan tried his best to rescue me from the drudgery by providing one store bought rotisserie chicken for our dinner. I was so relieved I didn't even care that the chicken tasted largely of cardboard and was about as moist. It didn't matter. At that point, the day was utter crap anyway. The only problem was the next day we were left with half of a really dry chicken. And our Netflix still wouldn't work.

Fortunately, the Netflix issue randomly resolved itself. And the chicken? I could fix that easily, and so can you!! Whether you've brought home a dud from the supermarket, or you are personally responsible for the dry bird (I won't judge), with just a little kitchen magic, it can be one of the most delicious, luscious dinners you've eaten - Chicken Pot Pie Turnovers. And if you're certain you'll never need to save yourself from overcooked poultry, just tuck this away until Thanksgiving. You can use it to save yourself from another day of turkey with stuffing as well. The flaky puff pastry crust will melt in your mouth. The cream and vermouth make a rich sauce, and the duck bacon? Oh lordy, the duck bacon.

CHICKEN POT PIE TURNOVERS
Inspired by some Food Network show, although I couldn't find the recipe or the show when I went back to make it again. Sorry!

INGREDIENTS:
4 oz duck bacon (you can use regular bacon or pancetta)
1 T flour
1/2 medium onion chopped fine
2 cloves garlic minced
1/2 C carrot, chopped
1/2 C peas
3-4 stems fresh thyme
1/2 C vermouth
1 C milk
1 t dijon mustard
1 1/2 - 2 C leftover chicken (or turkey), shredded
1 sheet puff pastry, defrosted (save the other, or make Apple Turnovers,
Alsatian Onion Tart or Palmiers (scroll down).)
optional: 1 egg to make an egg wash for the turnovers so they will be glossy and beautiful.

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 400F. Get a large skillet, put it over medium heat. Chop your bacon product into small pieces. Cook for about 4 minutes, or until cooked through, but not overly crispy, don't blacken. Especially if you use duck bacon or pancetta this will result in a lot of delicious fat being released into the pan. Don't pour it off, but remove your bacon from the pan and set aside. To the delicious fat, add your onions and garlic, lower the heat if necessary. Cook for 3-5 minutes until softened and the onions are translucent. Add 1 T of flour and mix in. It should coat the onions and garlic and collect all that fat so that it will thicken your sauce. Then add the carrots and peas. Let it cook for just a minute or two.Then add your thyme (maybe 3-4 springs of fresh, stems removed). Increase the heat slightly and add the vermouth. Let it cook off (reduce the liquid by at least half), then reduce the heat to low and add your milk and your mustard. Mix it all in and cook until it's thickened a bit, just a few minutes. Add in your cooked chicken and your bacon. When it's time to roll the puff pastry, act fast and with cold hands. Using a bit of flour, roll out your sheet of puff pastry. Be gentle and be particularly careful with the seams, you may need to sort of press your thumb or fingers on them to keep them from separating. Use a knife to cut into four equal pieces, I think mine were about 4-5" square. Transfer these squares to your baking sheet. I lined mine with a silpat mat. Evenly divide your filling between the four squares. Fold them in half to form triangles and pinch and fold the edge closed. Cut a small slit in the top. If you want, take one egg, whisk it and the paint the top of each with egg, it will make it pretty, but won't alter the taste. I am too stingy and lazy. I used a milk wash (just brush the top with milk) instead. If you don't act fast with the pastry stage, your filling will break through the bottom, which is why I advise adding the filling once the pastry is already on the baking sheet. Pop them in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until the puff pastry is golden brown and tasty looking. Be incredibly grateful that your leftovers will be far superior to the initial dinner.