Other People's Food

I'm not sure if my workplace is typical, but it seems to me that it requires an inordinate number of potlucks.  Sometimes we have to bring things; sometimes things are brought to us.  True confession:  my team and I are terrible potluckers.  We sign up for juice, as a group.  It is not only the lazy person's way out, it is cheap.  Once, we let a new girl buy juice and she spent over $20.  On juice! Needless to say, we kicked her out of our little contribution group and she had to start bringing stuff on her own - expensive crap like store bought muffins.  I feel only marginal guilt about bringing next to nothing, because in all honesty, I'll eat next to nothing.  We've covered my fear and loathing of public eggs in the past, but food from questionable kitchens is right up there on the list of stuff I won't eat.  I do not want to eat anything that may have come in contact with your cat's hair, your child's grimy hands or your can't-remember-the-last-time-you-wiped-it kitchen counter.* And on top of my rampant germophobia there's my fear that you** can't cook, so I'm also not eating anything that might not taste good.  Which means that if I am particularly hungry I will hover near where people drop things off so I can see who brought each specific food product.  LABELS people.  Let's get with the program!  Tell me what is in it and who made it for the love of Mike.  This blueberry coffee cake was one such potluck exception, I knew the baker and felt confident her kitchen was clean.  And it was SO good.  I totally stalked potlucks looking for it.  Finally she gave me the recipe.  Which means I could totally make it and be a good potlucker, but that's not really my style.  I'll stick to making it at home and leave the quality baking to someone else.

 *Unless of course, I've just been petting the cat in question and you have a child who calls me Auntie in an adorable little voice and can sing along to Call Me Maybe, but that is a highly specific special case.

**I don't mean you person reading my blog. I'm sure you're a perfectly good cook. Unless you're not, in which case, no offense, but I don't want to eat what you've brought.

BLUEBERRY SOUR CREAM COFFEE CAKE
adapted rather liberally, the original calls for a brown sugar, chopped pecan and ground cinnamon streusel to be used after you've poured in half the batter and again when you've added all the batter.  I was a) rather unsurprisingly lazy and b) shockingly short of pecans, so I improvised.  Ryan's been calling it "Blueberry Muffin Cake".

INGREDIENTS:
1 C butter, softened
1 1/4 C granulated sugara
2 eggs
1 C sour cream
1 t vanilla extract
1 1/2 C all-purpose flour (make that 1/2 C a scant one okay?)
1t baking powder
pinch of salt
1.5 C fresh blueberries
1 T brown sugar
2 t cinnamon
2 T flour

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 350 F (175 C).  Grease and flour a bundt pan (I used that spray that comes with the flour in it - for when you care enough about your family to coat their food in chemicals).  In your stand mixer, combine the sugar and butter and cream them together until light and fluffy.  Beat in the eggs one at a time (I use the paddle attachment, it's fine).  Then add the vanilla and the sour cream and give it one more good mix.  In a separate bowl, mix the flour and baking powder and salt.  Slowly add it to the mixer and then turn it on until it just incorporates.  Rinse your blueberries and pat them dry.  In another bowl, mix the 2 T of flour, the brown sugar and the cinnamon.  Add the blueberries to this and mix them until coated, it's okay if it doesn't stick perfectly.  Remove the bowl part of your stand mixer, because you'll want to add the berries by hand.  Add them and fold them in gently using a spatula or wooden spoon.  Make sure you get any left over brown sugar or cinnamon that's lurking in your bowl.  Slowly pour all of this into your bundt pan and then pop it into the oven.  Bake for 50-60 minutes or until a knife inserted into the cake comes out clean.  Cool it in the pan on a wire rack and then remove it to a serving plate.  I found this kept very well.

Company Coming!

Or company came, rather. This past week I hosted some friends for breakfast and then my dearest friend came to stay with her adorable daughter. It was busy and fun. But honestly, the breakfast was fun because it was no work. I know what you're thinking. You clearly see a picture of baked something or other up there (strata, if you must know) and you are wondering how exactly this was no work unless I purchased it. I didn't purchase it. And still, I maintain it was no work. Also, really delicious. Want to have this delicious eggy cheesey browned breakfast goodness? Read on. The recipe is from this gem of an inn in Maryland. If the idea of even this no effort breakfast is stressing you out, it might be best if you just go get it from the source.

STRATA
adapted from The Brampton Inn - Chestertown, Maryland. Seriously, check out their website, gorgeous, no?

INGREDIENTS:
8 1/2" slices of crusty French bread, buttered on one side
5 eggs
3 C whole milk
salt and pepper to taste
1 C shredded sharp cheddar (I used a mix of cheddar and asiago)
6 oz crumbled breakfast sausage, cooked and drained
(optional - a few teaspoons of hot sauce)

DIRECTIONS:
1.Butter an 8" square ovenproof dish
2. Arrange bread slices in two rows, buttered side down
3. Whisk eggs in large bowl
4. Add milk, salt and pepper and hot sauce
5. Pour egg mixture over bread
7. Sprinkle with sausage and cheese
8. Cover and refrigerate overnight

Then the morning of:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees
Uncover and bake for 50-60 minutes (mine took 65), until puffed and no longer liquid in the middle and golden on top.
Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

See? Almost no work.

Quick - A Quiche!

Maybe it was the delicious lunch my grandmother and I had at The Tea Shoppe or maybe it was reading a book that's set in Paris (disclosure, there is no quiche in that book, crepes, mais oui, but not a quiche. I can't make crepes though, so you're stuck with the quiche). Either way, I found myself desperately wanting quiche. Usually a summer staple of mine, I can't even think of the last time I made one. Luckily I consider quiche fairly easy to throw together (hence it being a summer staple). This one is vegetarian because I resisted the urge to throw in bacon. Believe me, I had the urge but reason won out. Which is okay, because it was completely delicious without. I won't tell if you add it though.

QUICHE, NO BACON

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 recipe dough (I make a full recipe and freeze the other half for later!)
1 T extra virgin olive oil
3 C sliced mushrooms
1/4 C well minced yellow onion
2-3 C washed, dried, stem removed, fresh baby spinach
3-4 sprigs of thyme (leaves only)
1 C gruyere cheese
1 1/2 C milk
4 eggs
salt and pepper

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 450 while you make the dough. Then place the dough in a 9" pie plate. Cover it with foil and your pie weights, pennies or dried beans, whatever you use for blind baking. Bake for 8 minutes, then remove weights and foil. Prick the bottom all over with a fork and return to the oven for 4-5 more minutes. When you remove it lower your oven to 325 F.

While the pie is baking, get your fillings going. In a large pan, pour your tablespoon of olive oil. Add the mushrooms and onions, a pinch of salt and a healthy grating of pepper. Cook for 6 minutes on medium high (you don't want crispy, you want soft and tasty). Add your thyme and spinach and cook for 3 minutes more.

In a separate bowl, give the eggs a nice little beating and then pour in the milk and mix well. Add a pinch of salt and some pepper and then the gruyere. Give it another stir or two.

When the crust is ready, put the mushroom/onion/spinach mixture in the bottom of the crust. Then pour over the egg/milk/cheese mixture. Pop it in the oven (now reduced to 325 F) for 40-45 minutes or until it has set up (meaning a knife is pretty clean when you stick it in the middle). Allow it to cool for about 10 minutes before cutting in.

'Tis the Season...For Deviled Eggs

We are currently at a crossroads - smack in between Easter and Mother's Day. Whether you have some left over hard boileds that you're dreading facing or are organizing your brunch menu for next Sunday, it is critical that you be able to devil. Besides shower season is upon us and whether they be bridal showers or baby showers, deviled eggs are always a hit. Even when your tray of them has slid off the seat during a particularly violent braking at a stoplight.* Trust me, a bit of paprika, some cosmetic work with a spoon and paper towel, no one will be the wiser.

*Amazingly enough, while I was involved with the repair work, I was not responsible for the egg accident. I will never reveal the name of Melanie the person who was.

DEVILED EGGS

INGREDIENTS:
6 hard-boiled eggs
4 T plus 1 t mayonnaise (Hellman's is GF)
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp dijon mustard (Maille is GF)
black pepper to taste
paprika

DIRECTIONS:
Carefully peel the eggs. Slice each egg in half and with a spoon coax out the yolk into a small bowl. When you've gathered all the yolks add the mayonnaise and mustard and mix well. I usually break up the mixture with the tines of a fork, but people who like it smoother may prefer to something else. Sprinkle in the salt and add the pepper to taste. You can pipe the filling in with a piping bag or by filling a plastic ziploc with eggy goodness, chopping off a corner of the ziploc and squeezing it through. I am usually too lazy for these and instead use a spoon to heap the mixture back into the holes. Sprinkle the tops with paprika.

Less Than Eloquent

About 12 hours ago, I left my house to go to work. I've spent about an hour and a half driving today (hey, that's my commute) and had over an hour of physical therapy. I sat down about 10 minutes ago. I am exhausted and my verbal abilities are currently at the fbbbt, fbbbt, fbbbt level. I fully intend to be asleep within the next two hours. Lest you think I'm superwoman and somehow managed to whip up this quiche in the midst of all that, allow me to disillusion you. I did not. This is something I made last week. Back when I had time to myself and energy and eloquence.

SAUSAGE AND BLUE CHEESE QUICHE

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 C thinly sliced sweet (Vidalia) onions
1 T extra virgin olive oil
3 links of sausage, casings removed (for me this was between a 1/2 and 3/4 of a pound)
1-2 oz blue cheese (get what you like) crumbled
1 half recipe dough
1 1/2 C milk
1/2 C egg beaters + 1 egg (alternately, 3 eggs)

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 400 F.
Place the thinly sliced onions in a pan with the tablespoon of olive oil. Cook on low heat, watching closely to make sure they don't burn. Cook for 15-20 minutes until they are soft and sweet. In the meantime, remove the casings from your sausage and add to another pan. Cook over medium heat using a spoon or spatula to break the sausage up into crumbles. They should be done in about 10 minutes. Drain and set on a paper towel covered plate to dry a bit. Roll out your dough and place it in a 9" pie plate. Place foil over the dough and then fill with pie weights. Bake for 8-9 minutes then remove the foil and weight, prick the dough with a fork and bake for 2 more minutes. Remove and let cool for a few minutes while you whip up the custard. In a large bowl, combine the milk and eggs and whip until frothy. In another bowl, mix together the sausages, the onions and the blue cheese. Evenly distribute the sausage mixture in the bottom of your pie crust. Pour the egg and milk mixture over the top. Bake at 375 F for 25-30 minutes or until the center is set. Let rest for 10 minutes before eating.

Peach and Ginger Scones

Way back when I was in a peachy mood, I harbored a dream of making peach cupcakes, but with ginger. Come on, how delicious does that sound? And then of course, life got in the way. Mainly, the fact that I am incredibly lazy got in the way. So it never happened. Then last week, when I was lamenting the fact that I am far too lazy to have make myself breakfast every day, I decided to whip up a batch of scones (far less labor intensive than cupcakes my friends), using the same brilliant peach and ginger pairing. Admittedly, they are pretty tasty, but I still want cupcakes.

PEACH AND GINGER SCONES
adapted from Everybody Loves Sandwiches

INGREDIENTS:
2 C flour
2 t baking powder
1/4 C butter (4 T)
3 T sugar
1/2 C milk
1 egg
1 t vanilla
2 T crystallized ginger, in a fine dice
1 peach cut in a 1/4" dice


DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 425 F.
In a stand mixer combine the flour, sugar and baking powder. Then add the butter and run the mixer until it resembles a coarse meal. Add the ginger and mix again. In a small bowl whisk together the egg and milk until foamy. Reserve a tablespoon of your eggy milk, and add the rest to the dry ingredients and mix until incorporated. Then add the vanilla. Stir again. Remove from mixer and add the peaches. Gently fold them in by hand. This is an enormously sticky dough, so have a lot of flour on hand when you turn the dough out onto your work surface. Knead it about 12 times. Roll it out to about an 8" circle and cut into 8 slices. Place on a silpat or parchment covered baking sheet. Brush with a combination of milk and egg, and bake for 10-15 minutes until lightly golden. Cool on a wire rack.

Getting Over Brunch

I hate going out to brunch. It's sort of awful, because it seems once you are an adult, you are expected to do this type of thing in order to socialize. I realize many people did this in college, but everyone I knew in college understood that one does NOT eat in the morning after a long night of going out. Anyone civilized slept late and ate later. My main problem with brunch is public eggs. I feel ridiculous even typing it, but there it is. I can't eat public eggs. Eggs at home? Certainly. Eggs at a friend's house? Why not? Eggs out? No thank you. I have tried, but it makes me invariably queasy. So brunch invitations often fill me with dread (unless I'm with my closest friends who know I'll order a grilled cheese from any diner at any hour of the morning rather than eat eggs out). So why not pancakes, you ask, they make them with chocolate chips now...? Or caramelized french toast? Or waffles? Because these are not breakfast foods, not really. THEY ARE DESSERT, masquerading as breakfast. And I simply can't get down that much sugar in the morning. Blame my mother and her rule about no cereal with sugar higher than the third ingredient, but sweet and breakfast do not work for me. So there it is. Happy social gathering, fraught with anxiety. And of course, later, when I get home, there's always that feeling of having missed out on ordering something wonderful. So, after my latest brunch outing, I decided to cheer myself up with a homemade quiche. This one is quite filling (I did make it for dinner) and very delicious.

BROCCOLI AND CHICKEN QUICHE
Better Homes and Gardens (I think?) by way of my friend Laurie

INGREDIENTS:
1 half recipe dough
1 1/2 C milk or cream (I used half milk and half cream - a do it yourself half and half)
4 eggs
1/4 C chopped onion (the onion cooks pretty well in the quiche, but if you are very sensitive to onion you may want to precook them)
3/4 C chopped cooked broccoli
3/4 C-1 C cooked chicken (you could chop it, I pulled mine apart into bite sized pieces)
1 1/2 C grated cheddar cheese
1 T flour

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat the oven to 450 F. Put the dough in a 9" pie plate. I used an 8.5" tart pan with removable ring. Such a HUGE error in judgment. It was not quite big enough, and the removable ring aspect meant that the eggy part leaked and seeped and went everywhere. Cover the the dough with foil and weigh it down with pie weights. Put it in the oven for 8 minutes. Remove the foil, prick the bottom and return to the oven for 4-5 more minutes until browned and dry. Lower the oven temp to 325 F.

Beat the 4 eggs and add the milk. Then add the broccoli, onion and chicken. Toss the cheddar with the flour, until the cheese is coated. This will keep it from sticking and clumping in your quiche. Add the cheese to the egg and filling mixture. Mix well. Pour into the cooked shell. Bake at 325 F for 40-45 minutes. (Mine definitely took on the longer side). A knife inserted near the middle will come out clean when it's done. Remove from oven and let set for 10 minutes before serving.