Pressing Pickle Update

Take a look at that.  Bread and butter pickles in their natural habitat: atop a burger.  I can't say that I've ever eaten pickles on a burger before last night, but evidently I've been missing out.  Because those pickles LOVE being on a burger.  I LOVE those pickles being on a burger.  We have a very happy situation here people.  I already broke down and made a second batch of them, you know you should probably get started on your first.

I'm not even the only one schilling pickles on the internet these days.  Evidently, refrigerator pickles are hot right now.  Lady Gouda's making bread and butters.  Emily Style is making dills.  Clearly this means that they are the new, hot, in, thing.  I'm never on trend.  This might be a first.  I shall revel in it.

Also, remember the poor forgettable loser in the pickle playoffs?  The poor asian pickles?  They know their audience.  Understanding my natural procrastination instincts are especially strong when it comes to throwing out food, they lurked in the batch of my fridge for a week.  I thought they were just peeking around the condiments feeling sorry for themselves, but really, they were gathering spice.  Ryan was on a snack-seeking mission and poking around the back of the fridge and there they were.  I don't know if it was desperation or optimism, but he popped a pickle.  It was nice and fiery.  Happy pickle.  He finished the jar in a single sitting.  I still wouldn't say they were the best pickle option, but if you like things hot, let a batch sit awhile, you won't be sorry.

Pickle Grand Champion

I made that title up.  I have no idea what it would take to become an actual pickle grand champion, or if one can even BE a pickle grand champion.  But in my little contest of three pickles, this was the clear winner.  I would eat them in a boat and I would eat them with a goat.  (Deepest apologies to Dr. Seuss) Seriously.  I love these pickles.  They are tart and sweet and flavorful and easy to make.  I'm going to make another batch today.  The first ones went entirely too quickly.  Also, don't skimp on the onions and don't be afraid to eat them.  They are crunchy and delicious, not merely an agent for flavoring the pickles.

BEST PICKLES
I made this using stellacarolyn's recipe from My Family Table and Serious Eats's recipe for Bread and Butter pickles.
The recipe below DOES NOT MAKE ENOUGH PICKLES.  You might as well double it.  Otherwise you'll be lamenting lost pickles.

INGREDIENTS:
8.5 oz kirby cucumbers.
1/2 small vidalia onion
1 T sea salt
1 t mustard seed
1/2 t red pepper flakes
1/4 t celery seed
3/4 C white vinegar
1/2 C sugar

DIRECTIONS:
Slice your cucumbers in 3/8" slices (again, not a precise measure, totally guesstimated.) Slice your onion.  Put them in a small bowl and toss with the 1 T sea salt.  Refrigerate for 30 minutes.  Remove, rinse and pat dry.  Heat up the vinegar and add the sugar.  Stir to dissolve.  Add the mustard seed, red pepper flakes and celery seed.  Bring it all up to a boil, then turn off burner.  Fill a (clean, empty, dry) jar (I used a spaghetti sauce jar) with the cucumber and onion slices.  Pour over the pickling brine, leave it to cool on the counter a bit and then pop it in the fridge.  Pickle Perfection.

First Runner Up: Dill Pickles

These dill spears were sort of obscenely easy and incredibly tasty.  I gave one to my father to try yesterday and immediately asked for a pastrami sandwich.  Sadly, I had none.  Just the pickles.  Want to make them?

DILL PICKLES
from food in jars

INGREDIENTS:
2 kirby pickles
1/2 C apple cider vinegar
1/2 C filtered water
2 smashed garlic cloves
1 t dill seed
2 t sea salt
1 scallion

DIRECTIONS:
Slice your pickles into spears.  In a small pan bring your vinegar and water and sea salt to a boil.  You'll need a single jar - again I used an empty, clean spaghetti sauce jar.  Put the garlic and dill seed into a jar, then carefully arrange your cucumber spears, taking care not to squish any.  When the liquid had boiled, pour it over the cucumbers.  Wait for it to cool and pop it in the fridge.  Wait at least a day and then locate your nearest pastrami sandwich (I'd settle for a Reuben) and enjoy!

Second Runner Up

Every contest has a loser and despite the pretty colors, this was not the star of the pickle party.  They were supposed to "asian" and honestly just tasted very vinegary.  I mean, of course pickles taste vinegary but these just didn't have any real dimension beyond that.  It's kind of my fault because I knew the recipe lacked a little something and I went ahead with it anyway, mostly because I was too lazy to get to the story to find anything that might improve it, like ginger.  I may try this recipe from Hogwash next time and see if it's any better.

Just in case you are dying to make mediocre pickles:

"ASIAN" PICKLES
inspired by a recipe posted on wyldethyme

INGREDIENTS:
8.5 oz kirby pickles (for me this was a pickle and a half)
2 carrots
3/4 C filtered water
3/4 C rice wine vinegar
1 t sea salt
2 scallions
1 clove of crushed garlic
1 t red pepper flakes

DIRECTIONS:
Cut off the ends of the pickles and discard.  Slice the remaining pickles into 3/8" slices.  That sounds really precise and I totally went and looked for a ruler so that I could be sure, but I could not find one.  So you'll have to deal with my highly technical estimates.  Anyway.  Slice the scallion, I used the white and light green parts.  Put the scallion, crushed garlic and red pepper flakes in a jar (I used a clean, empty, washed tomato sauce jar).  Stuff in the pickles and carrots.  I mean stuff figuratively, you really don't want to cram them in.  Gently layer.  In a pan, bring your water, vinegar and sea salt to a boil.  Pour this into the jar.  Let it cool for a while on the counter, pop in the fridge, wait a day.  Now you have pickles.