Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bitter Nostalgia

I am hungry.

Today I have eaten the following items:
1 slice of bread
1 granola bar
3 munchkins (2 jelly, 1 cinnamon)
1 slice of chocolate cake with marshmallow icing
1 reese's peanut butter egg
1 package of these ridgy veggie chip things that I can't remember the name of but seem kind of similar to this maybe?
1 Wawa snack pack of grapes, pita chips and cheese cubes
1/2 a hard sourdough pretzel
1 slightly melted ferrero rocher chocolate hazelnut thingy
pasta with butter, parm and tomatoes

Does anyone else remember kozmo.com? You could order anything, like a Fresh Samantha, a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a movie. And they'd bring it to you. That was fabulous. I wish they existed right now. I have no idea what I'd order and chances are it would not be any more nutritious than the rest of the junk I've eaten today, but it's late, I'm lonely and I'm HUNGRY.

Please excuse me while I slink back into the kitchen hiding.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Mea Culpa

When I was in high school I had this rather amazing English teacher who was okay with it if you hadn't done your work. She didn't like it and she certainly didn't endorse it but she knew that sometimes, things didn't get done. Once she assigned an essay on the prior night's reading assignment in The Scarlet Letter. She must have sensed our pens hovering over our papers preparing to conjure answers out of thin air because she announced:

Anyone who has not done the reading, please rise, say "Mea Culpa" and bring your blank papers to me.

There were no further consequences for any of us, except for Morgan. He had to water her plants. We were good kids; we didn't take advantage. The rest of the term I did my assignments.

But lately? I haven't been doing my work here. And I am very sorry. I will be back, I promise, with delicious recipes and tales of both happiness and woe from the kitchen. But it might not be for awhile. Maybe June? I think I could handle June. I just have some more urgent things to attend to. Some of which I should be attending to RIGHT NOW.

Mea Culpa. Mea Maxima Culpa. (Lent may be over, but the guilt never ends...)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


As in, requiring no effort. Clearly I can't handle anything else these days. I know I barely post anymore, but honestly, I barely cook anymore either. I work later now than I ever have - Monday nights I'm lucky if I walk in the door before 7pm, Thursdays tend to fall in the 6:15-6:30 range. That (plus some other stressful stuff) means that I am exhausted. It's a miracle if I can tell you what I ate a few days ago, much less what I'm going to eat in the next few days.

Last night I ate hot dogs. I was sulky because I had to buy buns for the damn things.

Tonight I'm debating the pros and cons of pasta with butter and cheese or Trader Joe's gnocchi.

But this meal? This one was effortless.

Would you believe Martha does effortless?
adapted for 2 people

1 bunch asparagus
1/2 lb rotini
1 T olive oil
2 T butter
2 oz goat cheese
salt and pepper

Put a pot of water on to boil to make your pasta. Turn on your oven to 450 F. Rinse the asparagus. Chop off the bottom third of the asparagus and cut the top parts in 1 1/2" sections. Like this:
Line a sheet pan or baking dish with foil. Pour the tablespoon of oil over the asparagus and add some salt and pepper. Bake for 10-12 minutes. They should be tender but not mushy and bright happy green. I pulled my tips after 10 minutes and left the thicker parts to go for 12. Add the pasta when the water boils. Cook the pasta according to the directions. Before draining the pasta, reserve 1 C of the pasta water. You can reuse the now empty pasta pan. Over low heat melt the butter. Add the goat cheese and whisk until melted and smooth. Slowly start to add in the reserved pasta water. I added 1/4 C and that was plenty, but go according to how thick or thin you like your sauce. I tossed the pasta back in with the sauce and stirred to coat well, then I mixed in the asparagus. Definitely taste for salt and pepper, mine needed a bit. Simple, tasty (especially if you can get good asparagus), effortless.

Monday, April 4, 2011


1 deck of cards
a Connells or Smiths tape (bonus points if one side is Connells and the other Smiths)
vanilla goldfish

Put the tape in your tape deck (you do have a tape deck don't you?) Deal yourself a hand of solitaire. Munch on goldfish cookies. At the end of two weeks, you'll find you've gained 10 pounds, memorized untold numbers of lyrics, learned how to shuffle the less lame-ass way (but not the Vegas dealer way) and you'll feel much better. However, cards, the Connells and the Smiths, goldfish cookies and a certain type of spring weather will constantly remind you of your convalescence and make you vaguely nostalgic for what was an absolute crap part of your 16th year.


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